She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
