I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also, beer. Big fan.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
