I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
