spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
