TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
