North Korea, Best Korea!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
50% drunk capacity currently
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
