He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
