Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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