I must be too annoying 4 u.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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