In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
