i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
