need another drink. this is the easiest way
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i think i have two assholes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
