somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
