The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
