I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
