you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
