watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
