What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So vagazzling was a success
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
