If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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