omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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