so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
