Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
