This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
