Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize