just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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