my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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