Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
