How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
