PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
