Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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