OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The power of my boobs compel you
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
