and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
