before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
