Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just had sex on a roof
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
