I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
