Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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