you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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