but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
