I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize