Will you blow on my dice?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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