You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
