He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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