So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
