I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Every concussion has its silver lining
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
