Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
420 ftw
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
