So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
