I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
