THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
