good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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