...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Jerry, you need to find god
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
