How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize