Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
