Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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