He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
