Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize