hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
