at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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