So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
