You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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