he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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